The Fan Dance is a grueling 24km SAS Selection test march staged over Pen y Fan, the highest mountain in the Brecon Beacons, Wales 🏴. The infamous march is the world’s oldest Special Forces test and is used as the first major indicator of whether a candidate has the physical and mental aptitude to complete the legendary selection course.
In the summer of 2024 I got the opportunity to participate in the Fan Dance. A challenge I’ve had on my bucket list for many many years. As I marathon runner I opted in for the Clean Fatigue version. This means a lighter backpack, mine was around 12kg which is half of the Load Bearing version. Expected time to complete is obviously lower so pace needs to be much higher.
Clean Fatigue also allows trail / fell running shoes. For Load Bearing you need real boots. At pre-check the day before I actually saw people getting turned down as a result of not having proper boots. At that point I thought it was a bit to rigid. But with all things military, there’s always a reason when it comes to equipment.
The weather was brutal with high chilling winds, hard rain and low visibility. So a perfect day for a Fan Dance. I knew it was going to be hard. I was well prepared and done my fair share of pushing mentally. But little did I know.
From the starting point at the well known phone booth it’s a massive climb to the first peak. Not to bad, I thought until I understood this was just the doorstep into the next and much steeper climb. This was also a hard wake up call as it’s a out and back course. We would have to climb this once more at the end.
At the very top we soldiered on, no real reason to stop and take in the views as visibility was around 20-30 meter. We now had a steep decline and a long stretch in which we could pick up pace. We started to catch up with Load Bearing participants who’d started an hour prior to us.
I felt strong and could benefit from all my running. Tagged along in a group that kept comfortable pace. To comfortable, lost focus and tripped. More or less the entire route seems to consist of some type of slate. Slate that in most cases point upwards. You can move fast, if you’re focused!
I stood up. Something was wrong with my right foot. Lifting my leg the foot just dangled back and forth. Tried to take some steps. No, it did not support at all. This was not good and we were only 7-8 km in. A DNF at a challenge I’ve wanted to do for so long? The ankle swallowed up nearly at once. This stabilized the foot and I could move forward. Strange feeling, like walking on stilts. It hurt like hell. Cursed myself for not having proper boots. Decided to continue. Got x-rayed when I got back home, it was a bad fracture. The doctor wanted to do surgery. A firm no from me as he told me I’d probably be away from running for 8-12 weeks. It’s now nine months later and I somewhat regret not taking his offer.
On our way back, at a lower pace but still within the goal time I aimed for. The mountains were now even more brutal. It was like a zombie march. We kept passing Load Bearning people and they struggled. We cheered them on as much as we could. At this point it wasn’t much, but we did have just a bit more energy than them. The mental depth that they had to dig to get up that mountain. Impressive. They had to get up. No one would come and help them out. And this is probably the core beauty of doing something like this.
It’s up to you! There’s just no shortcut. It’s up to you to finish.
If you’ve read this far and want to try it out I can highly recommend: https://thefandancerace.com/
But don’t go if you just want to check this of on your bucket list. You need to want it!
For me this was a emotionell accomplishment. The Fan Dance is a big thing in my world.
The fact that I finished with a broken ankle have made me so much stronger mentally. Whenever I get the nudge to give up I think back to the wet and cold day in the Welsh mountains. If I could finish there, I can finish this. Soldier on Fredrik.
Thank you Erik for tagging along. Without you I wouldn’t have made it.